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Author Topic: Virus humor.  (Read 4519 times)
Yellow Jacket
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« Reply #90 on: April 16, 2020, 05:27:39 AM »

Not Corona but I thought it was pretty funny. Another from my friend in Australia.


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« Reply #91 on: April 16, 2020, 05:27:43 PM »

.


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Buffalo
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« Reply #92 on: April 17, 2020, 01:30:05 AM »

Not Corona but I thought it was pretty funny. Another from my friend in Australia.




Kind of like our economy isn't done crashing. 
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Craig
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Buffalo
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« Reply #93 on: April 17, 2020, 01:31:23 AM »

.

I want a ribbon too
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Buffalo
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« Reply #94 on: April 17, 2020, 02:05:04 AM »

I feel like I'm 16 again, gas is cheap and I'm grounded.
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jdbrot
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« Reply #95 on: April 17, 2020, 02:04:59 PM »

+1
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Maggie
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« Reply #96 on: April 17, 2020, 07:49:24 PM »

I feel like I'm 16 again, gas is cheap and I'm grounded.

In the past 6 weeks we have put $20 in the truck.  It is still sitting on 3/4 of a tank.
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Buffalo
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« Reply #97 on: April 18, 2020, 01:38:55 AM »

 Yeah, I'm not buying much gas for the truck either.  I'm buying more gas for the mower 
But then I use about 3 gallons every time I mow the yard.   
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jpowell692
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« Reply #98 on: April 18, 2020, 03:15:10 PM »

I tried to copy a quote from my niece. She said she is quitting home schooling and switching to trade school teaching. Her kids are learning to become bar tenders.
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« Reply #99 on: April 18, 2020, 03:22:09 PM »

LOL, John!

Wow, Craig, 3 gallons.  Are you mowing all of East Dallas ;)
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Clampett
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« Reply #100 on: April 18, 2020, 05:20:56 PM »

Sounds like he is using a trac mower with 3 pull behinds ???? Or maybe a commercial ZT mower.

I use a JD X570, mow my yard, my brothers yard, next door neighbor, drive 1 mile to the next farm and cut his mother in laws yard, takes 1.4 gallons. Additional liter for the weed trimmer with saw blade for trimming the trees hanging over the road once a month for that 1 mile stretch.
If I cut full throttle, it reduces my cut time about 25% but uses about an extra .7 gallons. Nothing runs like a Deere  :D
Using the Kubota ZT with a diesel engine, I'd use about 3 gallons with just mine and neighbors only. But man o' man, that beast was fun to use while I had it.
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Yellow Jacket
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« Reply #101 on: April 18, 2020, 05:22:26 PM »

The only way to pull off a lockdown afternoon 'quickie' with their
8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony
with a Mars Bar and tell him to report on all the street activities.

He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation

'There's a car being towed from the car park,' he shouted. 'An ambulance just drove by!'
'Looks like the Andersons have company,' he called out. 'Matt's out on his bike and his mum is telling him off'
'Looks as if the Sanders are going into full isolation!' 'Jason has had his skate board taken off him
After a few moments he announced, 'The Coopers are shagging!!'
Startled, his mum and dad sat up in bed! Dad cautiously called out,
'How do you know that?'
'Jimmy Coopers on his balcony with a Mars Bar'.
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Buffalo
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« Reply #102 on: April 18, 2020, 09:16:07 PM »

Or maybe a commercial ZT mower.


John Deere Commercial ZT mower.  Burns about a gallon an hour and it takes about 3 hours to mow my yard.  I've got a big yard. 
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Buffalo
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« Reply #103 on: April 18, 2020, 09:25:49 PM »

Sons like the neighbors have been sharing their diversionary tactics  
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Clampett
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« Reply #104 on: April 19, 2020, 04:13:22 AM »

<snip>.  I've got a big yard. 
Yeah, that's what y'all call it in Texas. Here in Alabama we call that an unfenced pasture 
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Expat47
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« Reply #105 on: April 19, 2020, 07:31:58 AM »

Or maybe a commercial ZT mower.


John Deere Commercial ZT mower.  Burns about a gallon an hour and it takes about 3 hours to mow my yard.  I've got a big yard. 

Some years ago while driving across Texas I spotted a sign on an old piece of plywood hanging off a fence, the hand written scrawl was done using a 4in brush, "For Sale, 23,000 Acres".
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« Reply #106 on: April 19, 2020, 05:23:13 PM »

Yeah, that's what y'all call it in Texas. Here in Alabama we call that an unfenced pasture 

Two problems with that.  Got no animals so no need for a pasture.  I have it fenced, keeps the animals out.     :D
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Clampett
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« Reply #107 on: April 20, 2020, 12:45:56 AM »


Two problems with that.  Got no animals so no need for a pasture.  I have it fenced, keeps the animals out.     :D

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Maggie
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« Reply #108 on: April 20, 2020, 01:59:16 AM »

If you get it you get it...


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Buffalo
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« Reply #109 on: April 20, 2020, 02:22:18 AM »

 
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CathyN
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« Reply #110 on: April 20, 2020, 03:38:05 AM »

 
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Maggie
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« Reply #111 on: April 20, 2020, 03:54:00 PM »

Day 43, quarantine hair still donít care! Pete cleaned up my eyebrows this weekend.  Heís good at this stuff!  I think he just liked inflicting pain on me as he plucked them one by one.

Iím so fortunate Pete will do these things for me :-) Iíve had two pedicures this month!  He says ok that saved you $25 while extending his hand.  I wonder do I have to tip him??



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Clampett
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« Reply #112 on: April 20, 2020, 06:21:24 PM »

.......I wonder do I have to tip him??

 
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Buffalo
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« Reply #113 on: April 20, 2020, 11:39:59 PM »

 
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redeye
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« Reply #114 on: April 21, 2020, 02:00:33 AM »

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Years of bad habits often masquerade as 'experience'
Buffalo
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« Reply #115 on: April 21, 2020, 02:14:23 AM »

:-)
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« Reply #116 on: April 22, 2020, 08:11:13 AM »


 He says ok that saved you $25 while extending his hand.  I wonder do I have to tip him??

 Sure, just grab him by both shoulders (gently now... and social distancing be damned) and ask him
sweetly if he really wants to be tipped. If he says yes then just tilt him to the left or right a little and
then ask him "OK, how's that?"

I say that because once upon a time at work I had to unlock and open a door every time someone rang
the bell and wanted in. (it happened a lot and kind of interfered with my other work) Some would thank
me, but few would. Finally exasperated, one time I asked in a light joking way (had to be nice to clients)
"Gee, doesn't anybody ever tip the doorman any more?" whereupon I was gently grabbed at the shoulders
and was tilted to the side and was asked: "OK, How's that?" Well... it really was disarming and funny too.
We all got a chuckle out of that .


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« Reply #117 on: April 22, 2020, 10:25:16 PM »

Lol!!
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Clampett
Uncle Jed
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« Reply #118 on: April 22, 2020, 10:35:56 PM »

If you get it you get it...
I just got it. I didn't see the movie, so I had to lookup who he was.
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Maggie
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« Reply #119 on: April 23, 2020, 05:11:48 PM »

This made me chuckle...


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