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Author Topic: A Letter from Camp  (Read 110 times)
Doctor of Scooterology

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« on: September 28, 2018, 09:15:26 AM »

Dear Mom,

Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood
on TV and got worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping
bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all
up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.

Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write
because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue Jeeps.
It was great. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been
for the lightning. Scoutmaster Ted got mad at Adam for going on a hike
alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during
the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas
on a fire, the gas will blow up?

The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our
clothes. Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back. We will
be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Ted gets the bus fixed. It wasn't his
fault about the crash. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Ted
said that with a bus that old, you have to expect something to break down;
that's probably why he can't get insurance. We think it's a super bus. He
doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride
on the bumpers. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24. He
let us take turns riding in the trailer until the policeman stopped and
talked to us. Scoutmaster Ted is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good
driver. In fact, he is teaching Horace how to drive on the mountain roads
where there aren't any cops. All we ever see up there are huge logging

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to
the rapids. Scoutmaster Ted wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and Adam
was afraid he would sink because of his cast (it's concrete because we
didn't have any plaster), so he let us take the canoe out. It was great.
You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.
Scoutmaster Ted isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad
about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so
we are trying not to cause him any trouble.

Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew
dived into the lake and cut his arm, we all got to see how a tourniquet
works. Steve and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Ted said it was probably just
food poisoning from the left-over chicken. He said they got sick that way
with food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our
scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better
while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?

I have to go now. We are going to town to post our letters and buy some
more beer and ammo. Don't worry about anything. We are fine and tonight
it's my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster's tent.

Scooter Freshman

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« Reply #1 on: September 28, 2018, 02:29:07 PM »


Keeping The Dirty Side Down
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« Reply #2 on: September 28, 2018, 08:40:38 PM »

Doctor of Scooterology

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« Reply #3 on: September 29, 2018, 02:20:55 AM »

Hello Muddah, hello Faddah
Here I am at Camp Grenada
Camp is very entertaining
And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining

I went hiking with Joe Spivey
He developed poison ivy
You remember Leonard Skinner
He got Ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner

All the counsellors hate the waiters
And the lake has alligators
And the head coach wants no sissies
So he reads to us from something called Ulysses

Now I don't want this should scare ya'
But my bunkmate has Malaria
You remember Jeffery Hardy
They're about to organize a searching party

Take me home, oh Muddah, Faddah
Take me home, I hate Grenada
Don't leave me out in the forest where
I might get eaten by a bear

Take me home, I promise I will
Not make noise, or mess the house with
Other boys, oh please don't make me stay
I've been here one whole day

Dearest Fadduh, Darling Muddah
How's my precious little bruddah
Let me come home if you miss me
I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me

Wait a minute, it's stopped hailing
Guys are swimming, guys are sailing
Playing baseball, gee that's bettah
Muddah, Faddah kindly disregard this letter

Allan Sherman / Lou Busch

Spyderist, formerly known as ZURG

If You Don't Ride, You Don't Know
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