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Author Topic: British Electrical Theory  (Read 72758 times)
MoganDavid
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« on: January 03, 2013, 06:13:49 PM »

ELECTRICAL THEORY
BY JOSEPH LUCAS

Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of the
visible spectral manifestation known as “smoke”.

Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the
smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.

For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated
and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such
as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and
inescapable!

The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the wiring springs a leak
and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterward.

Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large
quantities of smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.

It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch,
Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak.
British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak
air and British Intelligence leaks national defense secrets.

Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.

In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation
of the mysteries of electrical components especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.

And remember:

“A gentleman does not motor about after dark.” Joseph Lucas “The Prince of Darkness” 1842-1903



A few Lucas-defining quips:

The Lucas motto: “Get home before dark.”

Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.

Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

Three-position Lucas switches; there are two types: DIM, FLICKER and OFF.
The other three switch settings available: SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.

The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.

If Lucas made guns, wars would not start.

Back in the ‘70s, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the
only product they offered which did not suck.

Q: Why do the British drink warm beer?
A: Because Lucas makes refrigerators.

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Duster
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« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2013, 08:01:05 PM »

+ 1   
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N5MVL Amateur Extra Ham Radio Operator
nowun
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« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2013, 08:20:18 PM »

Hmmm ... the bit about engines, shocks and forks sounds about right. We preferred drum brakes, and the cable operated ones, didn't leak - much. And as for British Intelligence, how can that leak, we have no secrets - 'specially not from our young neighbours across the pond.
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MoganDavid
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« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2013, 08:47:18 PM »




Q: Why are there no skyscrapers in London?
A: Because Lucas makes elevators.

Q. Who invented escalators?
A: Lucas, so a failure wouldn't trap people as their elevators do.
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kehoffman
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« Reply #4 on: February 25, 2013, 06:29:28 PM »

I once owned a Morris Minor 1000 (Lucas electrical).  The entire car was protected with TWO (2) 35 amp fuses!  On the way home one cold/snowy/blustery night, 1 of the fuses blew.  I had no spares.
I lost the tail lights, turn signals, heater blower, and windshield (windscreen) wipers.  I drove the 20 miles home with my left arm out the window holding a long handled rubber squeegee that was doing windshield wiper duty!
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Duster
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« Reply #5 on: February 25, 2013, 10:52:44 PM »

Well, at least, you could get the window open.
Back in the late 60's, had an MG 1100 sedan....
sort of the big brother to a Mini-Cooper...
engine mounted side-ways...carbs on the back
of the cylinder head, and the WHOLE ignition
system..distributor, sparkplug wires, coil...
barely inside the big grill...wide open to all
that free air...& all that rain, snow & ice too.
No shields to keep electricals dry...grrrrr.
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MoganDavid
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« Reply #6 on: February 25, 2013, 11:02:55 PM »

Duster, Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working.  Placing critical components, such as ignition coil, distributor, etc. near a large opening to the elements is advantageous for liberation of trapped smoke from the Lucas electrics.
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Duster
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« Reply #7 on: February 25, 2013, 11:10:08 PM »

Duster, Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working.  Placing critical components, such as ignition coil, distributor, etc. near a large opening to the elements is advantageous for liberation of trapped smoke from the Lucas electrics.

Being a ham-radio operator since 1988, I have proved the LUCUS theory many times. 
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ChandlerScoot
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« Reply #8 on: February 26, 2013, 05:10:01 AM »

This is why I rewired my TR6 with aircraft wiring, one strand at a time. I went from 4 glass fuses to 10 modern spade type.








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Simon
2009 Kymco 500Ri
MoganDavid
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« Reply #9 on: February 26, 2013, 05:28:59 AM »

just another way your TR is SUPERB!
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joncallihan
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« Reply #10 on: February 26, 2013, 06:38:44 PM »

Just make sure that Marelli is no-where near.  They are as smoke free as Lucas.

About the Mini -- I had one of the originals.  The odometer failed on 2800 mile intervals.  To fix it, the entire induction system had to come off so you could get to the back of the instrument cluster (a large speedo/odometer and a couple of idiot lights) so the entire thing could be removed so the odometer could be removed and taken to the odometer fixit guy who could get to it soon???  Then the entire process done in reverse to put it all back.  I only kept the car thru two of these sessions.

Jon

 
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